Sunday, September 20, 2009

More stupidity in Findlay

So these were actual events, word-for-word, from the official public record published in my hometown newspaper The Findlay Courier.  These were for the week of Sept 14-19 2009.

Police Department

A Findlay High School student, 16, was cited on West Foulke Avenue for wearing a Taco Bell window promotional sign as a cape. He had taken the sign from the store Tuesday. Umm... What more can I possibly add to this...?

Two high school students were involved in a Tuesday altercation in the 700 block of West Trenton Avenue.

Domestic disputes broke out Tuesday at homes on Breckenridge Road and Delaware Avenue.

Two males tussled Tuesday in the 500 block of Liberty Street over a property line disagreement. Oh no... not "tussling"!!!

An ornament was removed from the side of Early American House, 820 Broad Ave., on Wednesday.

A container of marijuana was confiscated from a Findlay High School student, 17, who was subsequently suspended Monday. Dude, where's my pot???

An intoxicated person was cited for aggravated disorderly conduct in the roadway of the 600 block of Putnam Street on Monday.

A Selby Street woman was arrested for domestic violence after striking her husband Tuesday. Crazy woman....

A Glessner Avenue woman was arrested Sunday for domestic violence after punching her boyfriend. Another crazy woman....

An East Pine Avenue girl was taken to a juvenile detention center on a domestic violence allegation, after biting a family member Sunday. And crazy girl....

Frozen meat and a bicycle were stolen from a garage at 1034 Fishlock Ave. This was noted Sunday. Hey man, look, free meat... and a bike too!

A Mercury was ransacked Tuesday outside 2712 Hollybrook Drive. I hate it when someone ransacks a car!


Sheriff's Office

A rural Forest woman said Monday she had received a suspicious letter, indicating she had won a $2 million prize. She should send in the $1000 to Kenya to claim her prize!

Aluminum was stolen Monday from a front yard at 23469 Hancock County 17, Forest.

Authorities investigated a report Sept. 1 that a substitute teacher at Arlington Schools had hit a student on the top of his head with a pen. No injury was noted. I can sympathize with this one...

A Friday fracas was reported at 820 W. Bigelow Ave.  Oh no, not another "fracas"!

An inebriated Benton Ridge resident was walking in the middle of Main Street in the village Friday. New #1 area of job growth in the state of Ohio is "Village Idiot"

AND MY FAVORITE OF THE WEEK:

A disgruntled rural Van Buren man tried to remove auto speakers while in the bed of his mother's pickup Sunday. The mother reportedly then drove the truck "erratically" in the vicinity of Meadowlark Park in Fostoria and made a sharp turn, tossing the discontented son from the truck. He was treated at Blanchard Valley Hospital for a head injury and "road rash."

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